Upper Limits: How to Accomplish Life Goals and With More Awareness

Doi Luang Chiang Dao: Thailand’s highest mountain

Have you ever noticed that when things start going really well, and you experience new and exciting changes, sometimes a crash happens? Sometimes we are on a positive roll and then BOOM, something knocks us down.

For example, you might be in a great relationship where everything is going extremely well and then you begin criticizing each other. Or, you have an incredible job offer and miss the opportunity by arriving late to close the final deal. You might be planning to run a marathon, end up binging the night before and are unable to participate.

Why does this happen? One reason is that the brain prioritizes saving energy. It is easiest for the brain to do what is familiar because it has already created neural pathways for familiar activities and ways of thinking. These examples could also be occurring due to an unconscious belief referred to as an “Upper Limit.”

What might we do to create new neural pathways and get through the Upper Limit to a more joyful, successful and love-filled life? The first step is noticing any old patterns that might be arising. We often continue an unconscious pattern until we uncover and see it. There are often unconscious ideas we carry from earlier stages of life that can cause us to prevent ourselves from experiencing the love, health or success that is available to us. Moving through these patterns can help us get through them and grow.

Here are some common patterns in the upper limit process. Which ones might be familiar to you?

Worry: Worry that is incessant with no solutions can be something we do to prevent ourselves from moving forward. Worry is valuable if we can take an action step to overcome it. Ask yourself, what can I do to change this? Then take the smallest easiest step forward. If you cannot do anything, do your best to focus on what you can do and release the worry.

Fear of outshining: If you are successful, will you outshine or lose connection with those you love? This one is common and can unconsciously stop us from moving forward.

Disloyalty and abandonment: When it was time for me to move from my home, it was extremely difficult for me because I did not want to lose connection with the family I had raised in that home. When I finally did move, and faced my fear, I was able to travel across the world and pursue my passion in a three-week life changing art continuum residency in Chiang Dao, Thailand. I also became more mobile and was able to create experiences with my adult children as they moved to different areas.

My “new home” for three weeks during the art continuum in Chiang Dao

Other patterns can include blame and criticism, deflecting good feelings and even sometimes challenging body symptoms like getting sick or an injury. Remember that once we look at the upper limit, we can face it with curiosity. We can understand and then often go to what is the next step in our life path.

I recently injured my arm while lifting weights without stretching. After eight weeks, I was exasperated that it still hurt. The challenge led me to getting body work that was incredibly healing and allowed me to slow down and relax in ways I never had. Through this I deepened my meditation practice and passion for healing. At the end of my last session, my body worker said, “that arm is used to giving and not receiving.”. This helped me slow down even more and realize that it was okay to balance my choices and rest as I help others. Thanks to my injury, I was able to witness and resolve old unhealthy patterns.

Often our Genius, what we most love and care about for our life, if we get curious, is sitting on the other side of the Upper Limit patterns.

The body is always part of the solution. Taking breaths, slowing down and melting the fear can help you witness and overcome an Upper Limit. (click on button below to find blog on fear melting).

Doing something new takes energy and time to create new neural pathways. Sometimes when there is success, it can be quite exciting. When a “crash” happens, we might also lose hope. It is important to stay supported and supportive of our growth. As tempting as it is to think we have failed, this is self-sabotage and one of the worst activities. Honest reflection is helpful, but not continuous loss of hope. Reflect but don’t ruminate. Thinking about the upper limit pattern can help us recognize what might have been stopping us and what we can choose that is a different way of being to support our growth.

The next step after acknowledging an Upper Limit experience is to be curious about what kind of support helps you.

Usually, our nervous system needs to assimilate, integrate and catch up to a new wanted experience or growth. When this happens, it’s good to slow down and be caring with yourself (and others that might be involved).

Bring presence, love and compassion to whatever is happening; allow whatever is arising and move into an observation mode as best you can. For example, allow feelings, allow rest, and get support. Notice any old patterns that might be arising and do whatever you can to support yourself and others involved. Talking with someone you trust, resting, meditating, walking in nature or engaging in art are all good ideas. It is good to create a personalized list of what supports you and have it ready for when you need it.

Then you can rest into support and allow yourself to move to and be in that new higher state invited from the Upper Limit. This is growth. Just for a moment, stay there and be with it. Celebrate! Practice engaging positive loving feelings of expansion and abundance more and more of the time as you grow.

Recognizing your patterns and Upper Limits takes time and loving kindness. With practice, this new awareness can help you achieve your life goals.

As a certified Hendricks Coach, I salute Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks for their work. More can be learned about the Upper Limit in Gay’s book “The Big Leap” or you can join the Hendricks Community site for more incredible tools and opportunities to learn. See the recent “Hendrick’s How To’s” with link on button below where I share a recorded live streamed video on Upper Limits. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XfUFkE-bntU

What Upper Limits do you find familiar? What helps you move past them? What is on the other side of your Upper Limit pattern? Do you celebrate each step of your growth discoveries? I invite you to send me an email and share!

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Shay Marie is a Writer and Coach. Writing, learning, growing and supporting others is her passion: and in particular, the dance between nature, awareness and our growth. Please reach out for feedback or musings! She is VERY excited to share and hear from you.